he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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