Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
