East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
