Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize