Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
