hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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