false alarm. still invincible.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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