It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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