Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
