he wants to bone in the snuggie
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
