I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
