Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize