so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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