he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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