I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
