chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
