jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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