Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
