I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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