When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
