i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My ass is underappreciated
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
