Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
