You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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