I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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