It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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