She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
