No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
should my penis look like a turkey
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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