i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
did you just send me my own nude
Randomize
