i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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