Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize