yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize