His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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