it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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