You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
