I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize