I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize