And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
