i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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