she was so not down for the gang bang
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
