I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
