i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
