there was a trapeze. enough said
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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