You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
