who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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