So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
