Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize