What a fucking waste of an outfit
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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