I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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