Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
