i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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