why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
