Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
