Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
