I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
