Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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