i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
