She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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