Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
