just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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