girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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