dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
