she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
