Me too!
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
