Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
