OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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