We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm at about main and main street
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
