road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
