I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
