that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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