She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
