If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
