my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I am spending my child support on dildos
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
