Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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