I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
