nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
